Monday, December 22, 2008
Now on the other hand, around that time, I was dating a new guy. About a month before we made our relationship official, I permed my hair. He told me that if I went back to natural, he would leave me. Said jokingly, but still a very fu... , I mean jacked up statement to make on his part. He said that natural hair didn't look right. If I was having a bad hair day and wanted to sport a cute head scarf, he was very much against it. He said it looked too ethnic or whatever, I forget...it was a long time ago. He thought my weaves and extensions were nice looking, but teased me about them occasionally. (He didn't know that I was wearing these as protective styles, because I was gradually going back to natural, and leaving his dumbass-oops, I cursed).
So with these stories, I make the point that the people who were the most judgemental. That had the most to say about how I (or other BW) should wear my/our hair are always the same ones who don't know anything about how to deal with "our hair". (Oh yeah, and the first dude-my roomate...was Hispanic) I can understand an opinion. Liking or disliking a hair style. But judging a person based on their hair is especially bothersome to me, and even moreso when it is done by a guy. Black men especially, because they can feel particularly self righteous as if they are the ultimate authority on Black women in general.
Hair is sensitive to us. Why? Because it is a struggle that only a BW would know. Hell, we have the most fragile kind of hair known to man. So, I try to keep the judgement down to a minimum. LOL, except for when it comes to this chick hehe, joking. Having experienced our kind of hair, I have a certain amount of respect for the challenges we face, having to overcome the traditional standard of beauty every day. Hours of research, care and maintenance. Finding a hair routine that is simple and effective. Finding a hairdresser that is good at her job. These are pains we take in order to look good, feel good, and (yes, I'll admit it) to please our boyfriends/husbands/partners.
I guess it just peeves me because I'm a strong believer that Black women have it hard enough as it is. We're hard on ourselves, and when society isn't completely ignoring/dismissing us, they are hard on us too. On top of that, we have our "brothers" (some who mean well) throwing out insensitive comments that end up hurting women and adding to the complexes most of us already have. Imagine if I wasn't a confident, self-aware person. My ex-boyfriend would have really made me believe that my hair in its natural state was ugly. Or my roomate, telling someone that is wearing a weave that THEY are a fake person. Two men, very different opinions, both wrong on so many levels. This is the kind of judgement that a lot of BW have internalized and walk around carrying.
One more point and then I'm done:
A big one that I hear is the argument about BW wearing rollers while in the grocery store, as if that woman is a bad person or someone with low self esteem. How about that woman is busy? Granted, I don't do this, probably because I rarely wear rollers. And yes, I'll admit that I try to look a certain way when I go out whether it be to the grocery store or to the gym. But I don't pass down judgement on someone who is wearing roller sets or a scarf. I just assume that they have somewhere to go later on and want to look sharp. One day, a looong time ago, I was in an emergency situation prior to a big event and had to run to the cornerstore ( yes...curlers, scarf and all). You should have seen the nasty looks I got from the men folk. It was unbelievable. The women, didn't seem to mind so much. They all gave knowing glances with the "I feel you girl" grin. I was in "getter done mode" so I didn't pay too much attention to the self righteous attitudes of my "brothers" the same brothers, mind you that would be trying to holla at a sistah at the event a few hours later. It was interesting how quick the judgement was passed in the stop n' shop, but everybody was winking and grinning at the banquet hall.
Sooo in conclusion, brothers...if any of you read this. Probably not. Probably just talking to myself anyway. Every time you go to an event and see a fine looking woman, with nice hair, makeup and dress; remember that she may have been the very same chick in the store with the rollers and 'house shoes.' LOL And in seriousness, every time you are about to say or even think something about a woman that may be wearing their hair in a way that is not to your liking remember the hangups that she probably has had to deal with throughout life. The work it takes to have to deal with her hair everyday, in whatever state it is in. And remember that whatever you might decide to let come out of your mouth, may do more hurt than good. And nobody needs that. Any ladies care to weigh in?
*BW stands for Black Woman (or women depending on the context). I write that word way too many times in this article for me to be spelling it out.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The whole time I was doing this, I was thinking to myself that my hair is not going to hold as well with oil. But I finished retwisting (which has become increasingly easier, since I am already locked up-aaand, I got a little help from the boyfriend ;-) I blew the hair dry with my blowdryer, (set on medium heat) and not only did they manage to hold, but they hung straight and did not leave any residue at all, except a beautiful shine.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I think it has more to do with my working all of the time than with my hair really. I just need a break, but with the current economy a sistah has to scrimp up as many duckets as possible and stop worrying about being creative and different with the tresses. And if that means throwing my hair into an updo everyday or wearing it all lose and wild with no rhyme or reason, then so be it.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Oh and for some really close pictures of her locks click this link. I included this post because I think that it is so cool to see women from different backgrounds and lifestyles rocking such an ethnic and strong look. For the split second that I was staring down the back of her head, I noticed some things...
1. That Mrs. Nutter has chunky tips and her locks aren't completely cylindrical...just like a certain someone I know who was stressing out about it a couple posts ago.
2. She dyed some of her hair (I believe it was her tips) a honey brown color.
3. Even though this was a formal event, she wore her hair down and it looked really nice.
So that's it.
Isn't that picture behind Sonia Sanchez awesome?!
These women ROCK!!!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
So anywho, I put on the designer shades, a black neck scarf and my favorite pair of skinny jeans and mozied off to the job. And let me tell you, my coworker gave me the most back handed compliment. "Your hair is..." (long pause) "...growing!"
My hair was not nice. My hair was not cute. It was just
growing. Like a tumor. Then she says, "Don't worry girl, my hair was in that stage too." For those who don't get what that stage means...she's referring to the infamous, "ugly stage" of dreadlocs. (My coworker has long, beautiful locks. Just to give you some back story.)
Now, I did not stop her gibberish (as my best friend would call it, lol). I let her continue to hear her own voice and when she finished eating her foot, I went to the bathroom to double check. Maybe at some point, my hair decided to do something strange that I was not aware of. Maybe it was sticking up on the top of my head, like in my beginner days. Maybe I was mistaken this morning, because the last time I checked, I could have sworn I looked fabulous. But in a moment of doubt...I had to check myself, cause Lawd knows I've had some days where I thought I had it going on and I didn't.
So when I glanced in the mirror, this gorgeous looking diva was staring back at me.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
#1- very attractive
#2- very intelligent
#3- very permed up
These are strong, confident Black women that hold management positions at their jobs. Women that make important decisions for their companies every day. These women make fashionable wardrobe choices with a self awareness that allows them to mix and match colors and styles to accentuate the right curves and hide the wrong ones. These women are (as the over-used Tyra Banks expression goes) fierce! And they're telling lil' ole eccentric, neurotic, nerdy, goofy, peon me that they're not bold enough to wear their own hair the way it grows out of their scalp.
Now I talked to the beau about it this morning and we got into a heavy discussion. We talked about dealing with peer pressure as children and the negative images of natural hair and how this causes us to hold negative images of ourselves as adults and so on and so forth.
But I guess the conundrum for me is why women in their thirties and forties who "got it going on" think that they would suddenly look like a gorilla if they decided to wear their hair natural. Now I have seen some rough looking ladies in my day, and let me tell you...a perm, a weave, or a dye job is not going to change how many teeth you have. A bump n' curl is not going to eliminate a weak eye or a slumping forehead. In other words, you don't have to have a certain face to wear a perm so why do people think that you have to have a certain face to wear natural hair?
It makes me think that they are seeing natural hair as a bold fashion move, like a gorgeous runway model striding down the catwalk in a trendy yet slightly bizarre outfit. It's a little extreme, but only someone like her could pull that off. First off, it's not extreme. And second, I'm far from a runway model (and I'm rockin this look, damnit! ;-)
Now I take it as a compliment when people say that I have "the face" to pull off natural hair, but it also saddens me a little bit. It helps me to understand that the person who made the comment doesn't think that they have the right face for their own God given hair.
And when I think about it, I've NEVER in my life seen a woman that wore her hair natural who "didn't have the face" for it. It always seems to suit that person. I've seen some women who are not suited well by relaxers, however. Women with awkward bangs or brittle, slicked down ponytails that don't compliment their beautiful features. And sometimes, I think to myself, "That woman would look really nice with a twist out or braided french roll." The idea would be preposterous to these women, I'm sure.
"I don't have the face for that," they'd probably say.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
My Take On No-Poo
A No-Poo or "dry shampoo" if you want to get technical, is kind of like using an anti-bacterial hand sanitizer on your hair. You squeeze the contents onto your scalp, wait one minute, and then rub it in with a towel. It is a clear gel that smells like alchohol mixed with a sorry excuse for a fragrance (well, mine does.) The boyfriend likes the smell...but what the -bleep- does he know? There's really nothing more to it than this, though. If you want to clean each twist/loc/braid individually, you put the gel onto the towel and rub it down the the hair you are cleansing, from root to tips.
I did this yesterday in sections as well as retwisted each loc with mango lime locking gel. The hair is looking tight (despite the fuzzies...we'll talk about that later), but I think I will have to end up doing a rinse because the problem with this kind of leave-in shampoo is the residue it leaves behind. Just like with anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, you are not rinsing this stuff out and although it dries quickly, it leaves the dead remains of whatever bacteria it has killed...that's right...on your scalp. Soooo, it's more convenient. It definitely gets the hair clean. But if you are meticulous (see: anal) like me, you are probably going to want to rinse and possibly even retwist. If not, you're still good to go. That's it for today.
I'll post up pictures of my frizzy, yet newly retwisted locs when I get a chance.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
First of all, let me explain and describe what a latch hook is in the first place. A latch hook is a hand-held tool consisting of a thin shaft with a hook on one end and a pivoting latch, used for drawing loops of yarn through canvas or similar material to make rugs and the like.
What makes this device perfect for tightening locks, is the pivoting latch. You put the hook through your twist or braid lock at the root. Next, you hook the end of your twist (or wrap it around...whatever, as long as it catches). Pull it back through the twist. If you continue this...it tightens eventually. I guess it just depends on how loose your twist was in the first place. It sounds complicated, but I looked at the process once on youtube and two months later, picked up a latch hook and did it. Considering that my memory is like an etch-a-sketch...I would not have remembered and been able to execute this procedure 2 months later -mind you- if it was difficult.
My opinion on latch hooking. Great process, great way to tighten your locks for an extended period of time. Great! Great! Great! Will I use this method? No. Why not? It works too well. Such a permanent method wouldn't allow me the option of "taking down" my locs in the future if I decided that I wanted to take that course of action. I'd have to shave my head. Now I know that most people get locs with the intention of never taking them out but I try not to do anything that I can't undo. And to me, shaving my head should be an option, not a requirement (unless I have some kind of horrible disease or an outbreak of lice or something.)
Here's a picture of the latch hooked locs.
Granted, I did pull them up, they are still pretty tight on their own. I took this picture about 3 weeks after latch hooking some of my locs. The fact that you still see my scalp goes to show you that they have some serious staying power.
Okay, I'm done.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
<------Trying to do a model pose...lol.
These are pictures of me on several occasions of doing my new favorite thing to do (NOT!) retwisting my hmmm...locks(?) I guess they are still twists. They are in between so I guess I will call them tweenies :-).
I think the braids in the back are cute and in a way, I get to showcase all of the hard work I put into retwisting my hair every week/week and a half.
So that's what's new. Oh, oh, oh...wait! I forgot to mention that I experimented with latch hooking. I will write about that tomorrow. I am actually thinking about trying some wax too. Don't know yet. I will write about that later too.
My dog just graduated from puppy school.