Lawd, I'm so tired...lol.
I have been working some really long hours lately, so a sistah has been tired. And boy did I look it yesterday. Let me just say that I did not retwist my hair in three washes and it looked like I was sporting a mini afro with some dred locks sticking out. And then I had the nerve to try to squeeze that abomination into a ponytail and pop on a nappy bun. LOL, it was a HOT MESS. But sometimes you have to look like crap. It's a part of life. I wish I had a picture to show yall, but I took the hair down before I remembered I wanted to capture this bad hair day on film.
Anywhoo... I washed, retwisted last night and tah dah.
Here I am today.
I did a cute little behive type, updo thing today (trying to make up for yesterday) and it was REALLY cute. But again, I forgot to capture the moment on film. So I will have to do it again one day and post up a pic.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
Have you ever told someone that their hair was really nice and then followed up with, "is it real?" I'll let you think about that.
I haven't done that before, but that's because I think it's really rude. I haven't been asked too many of these types of nosey questions lately because I am wearing locs now and my hair is short, but I used to get these kinds of questions all the time when I wore braids or a perm. I noticed that Black women and men for that matter could not possibly give me a compliment about my hairstyle without verifying whether my hair was "real" or synthetic, sew in or glued, box perm or professional or whatever. Maybe it's just me, but I would get these kinds of questions from Black people in front of anyone at any time. I call them loaded hair questions because you never know how to answer them. Of course, I was always honest, but how do you tell someone that they are being inappropriate?
This reminds me of another story. I had an acquaintance in college that was famous for asking me loaded hair questions every time she saw me. And if I didn't answer her quick enough or if I gave her the "stop blowing up my spot" look, she would literally put her fingers into my hair to feel for a weave. All of my friends thought I was crazy. "Oh, she's so nice." "She wouldn't do anything like that." And then, while at some event in the student center at my school, I see her talking to a close friend of mine. My friend throws a glance in my direction that lets me know that homegirl just said something messed up. When she walks away, my friend (her name is Tiffany) says that their conversation went like this.
Tiffany: Hey (blank)!
Innapropriate Girl: Hey Tiff! I love your hair!
Tiffany: Thanks!
Innapropriate Girl: (all smiles) Is that a box perm?
Tiffany: Um, yeah.
Innapropriate Girl: Oh (pause) I can tell. I remember when I used to get box perms.
(I guess that's when my girl threw me the sideways glance that said, "you were right. she is an asshole").
I got my hair permed twice, once while a junior in high school and another time as a junior in college and both times while transitioning back I wore my hair in braided extensions. I wore braids every day for a whole year one of these times and I'll never forget a guy coming up to me...someone I never really spoke to beyond casual greeting. He says "how long is your real hair?" I looked at him for a minute, because I didn't know how to answer his thinly disguised loaded hair question.
So I tell these stories because I think everyone's experienced something like this before. And I just want to know how other people respond to that kind of stuff. I see so many black women, regular people, actresses, singers, professionals, students, all types wearing their hair in a vast array of styles so I think to myself...they must be getting these kinds of questions too, or asking them.
And don't think that you are escaping it by wearing locks, because there are plenty of lock extensions out there and I have already been asked if I was wearing some.
Okay question...how do you answer a loaded hair question?
3 comments:
well....I am your typical conflict avoider...so I've become REALLY good at ignoring dumb ass questions. I chalk it up to their ignorance...or a need to validate themselves by trying to embarrass me...poor things. Great hair updates by the way.
i completely agree. it's so rude when someone asks if your hair is real. i would suggest responding with something along the lines of, "would you be offended if i asked if your breasts or nose was real?" then i think they'll get the point
Zee I am the typical conflict avoider as well, so I almost always brush that kind of stuff off...but even if I wanted to have a quick comeback my brain works waaay too slow, lol...and Thank you!
Chescaleigh, that's hilarious.
Hope you don't mind that I used your video. I find it very inspirational and wanted to share it with others. Thanks for visiting my blog, and I hope to see you again!
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