I don't have the face for that!

One of the statements that I hear the most from Black women when they see my hair is, "Your hair is sooo nice" followed by, "I wish I could do that!" And my reply is always, "you can." To which they say, "I can't pull that off" or "I don't have the face for that." Now there is a pattern with this comment because these women are almost always one of these things...

#1- very attractive


#2- very intelligent


#3- very permed up




These are strong, confident Black women that hold management positions at their jobs. Women that make important decisions for their companies every day. These women make fashionable wardrobe choices with a self awareness that allows them to mix and match colors and styles to accentuate the right curves and hide the wrong ones. These women are (as the over-used Tyra Banks expression goes) fierce! And they're telling lil' ole eccentric, neurotic, nerdy, goofy, peon me that they're not bold enough to wear their own hair the way it grows out of their scalp.


Now I talked to the beau about it this morning and we got into a heavy discussion. We talked about dealing with peer pressure as children and the negative images of natural hair and how this causes us to hold negative images of ourselves as adults and so on and so forth.

But I guess the conundrum for me is why women in their thirties and forties who "got it going on" think that they would suddenly look like a gorilla if they decided to wear their hair natural. Now I have seen some rough looking ladies in my day, and let me tell you...a perm, a weave, or a dye job is not going to change how many teeth you have. A bump n' curl is not going to eliminate a weak eye or a slumping forehead. In other words, you don't have to have a certain face to wear a perm so why do people think that you have to have a certain face to wear natural hair?

It makes me think that they are seeing natural hair as a bold fashion move, like a gorgeous runway model striding down the catwalk in a trendy yet slightly bizarre outfit. It's a little extreme, but only someone like her could pull that off. First off, it's not extreme. And second, I'm far from a runway model (and I'm rockin this look, damnit! ;-)

Now I take it as a compliment when people say that I have "the face" to pull off natural hair, but it also saddens me a little bit. It helps me to understand that the person who made the comment doesn't think that they have the right face for their own God given hair.

And when I think about it, I've NEVER in my life seen a woman that wore her hair natural who "didn't have the face" for it. It always seems to suit that person. I've seen some women who are not suited well by relaxers, however. Women with awkward bangs or brittle, slicked down ponytails that don't compliment their beautiful features. And sometimes, I think to myself, "That woman would look really nice with a twist out or braided french roll." The idea would be preposterous to these women, I'm sure.

"I don't have the face for that," they'd probably say.

An update...several months later

Yesterday officially marked my eight month anniversary and guess what else?  I went out and bought a new Mac computer so hopefully I can upgrade the pictures and actually add videos in order to give myself (and anyone who reads this) a better way to see the progress I've made.  About the hair...it has grown some (not much) but enough to see a difference.  Here's some pictures...

I've been covering my head at night with my homemade satin hair cover.  It matches the homemade pillow.

This really helps the hair to stay smooth and soft at the roots.  As far as the lock itself, it's hard to keep it looking silky and smooth unless you have a really fine texture of hair to begin with.  But then again, maybe I'm wrong because I saw a White dude the other day with locs and his hair looked thicker and shaggier than mine.  I had to do a double take.  

As my hair locks it looks dry, even though it's not.  In reality, it's fluffy and kind of wooly I guess.  But imagine trying to make a sheep look like it has shiny wool...not going to happen.  So I don't expect to make my dreads look silky smooth.  Right now I am at that point where the hair thickens a little and is fat at the ends, but I heard that this is a phase and with maturity my hair will become more cylindrical.  I think it's getting there.  I have been washing my hair with some shampoo that I bought from Whole Foods last week.  It's called Hydrating Shea Butter Shampoo and Conditioner and it's made by a company called Desert Essence.  I love how it makes my hair feel (and I'd better at $10 a bottle!)  This stuff hydrates and anything that hydrates is good for me, because my hair absorbs water like a sponge.  As we all know it's really important for Black people (especially ones with really thick and kinky hair like mine) to keep their hair moisturized and hydrated.  FYI: Dry hair is not conducive to growth, and it also increases breakage and split ends.  This stuff gave my hair and scalp the same feeling that I get when I pretreat it with the natural oils that I mix up.  The ingredients say that it contains no alcohol and that everything is natural.  It also contains Ginkgo and Rosemary (in the shampoo) and Meadowfoam and Wheat Protein (in the conditioner).  Don't really know what the latter two are, but I'll look them up.  

I have also been massaging my head with this oil that I got from Whole Foods.  It's called Almond Glow.  It's supposed to be used like a skin lotion, but I like all of the natural oils in the ingredients and it's lavender scented which is one of my favorite scents.  It contains peanut oil, olive oil, lanolin oil and vitamin E.  And it's light, which means no residue...which I will get into later.  It's also paraben free and even though I don't know what that means it sounds like a good thing too, lol.  So there tis!  My new easy to take care of hair regimen.  I rub the oil through my locs and go.

Now that my hair has locked up I don't have to re-twist half as much as I used to.  And it also has some weight to it which is great because it lays down now.  I was wearing it in an up-do a lot so that I could pleasantly surprise myself when I let my hair down and it had a little more length to it.  Of course I'd have to pull it down with my fingers, because when I took it out of the up-do, it would just stay up in the air gathered on top of my head.  But one day I let my hair loose and it actually dropped down when I released the clasp.  You should have saw my face, lol.  :-0  Yeah, it's a weird concept, but everyday is a nice little surprise.  For the most part, though, I've been wearing it down a lot more now.  I am loving this phase of my hair and every phase thus far.  My only regret is not doing it sooner.

That's it for now folks!

Happy 4 Month Anniversary

Hey everybody...I just realized that it's my four month anniversary. Not that it means anything, but I figured I'd do a quick blurb on my hair today. I've taken out the extensions and did a no-poo shampoo yesterday. I used herbal cleanse...I forget the brand name, but I'll post it up here as soon as I remember or see it. I didn't feel like going through the whole hair washing regimen and I figured that this would be a good time to try the no-poo.

My Take On No-Poo

A No-Poo or "dry shampoo" if you want to get technical, is kind of like using an anti-bacterial hand sanitizer on your hair. You squeeze the contents onto your scalp, wait one minute, and then rub it in with a towel. It is a clear gel that smells like alchohol mixed with a sorry excuse for a fragrance (well, mine does.) The boyfriend likes the smell...but what the -bleep- does he know? There's really nothing more to it than this, though. If you want to clean each twist/loc/braid individually, you put the gel onto the towel and rub it down the the hair you are cleansing, from root to tips.

I did this yesterday in sections as well as retwisted each loc with mango lime locking gel. The hair is looking tight (despite the fuzzies...we'll talk about that later), but I think I will have to end up doing a rinse because the problem with this kind of leave-in shampoo is the residue it leaves behind. Just like with anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, you are not rinsing this stuff out and although it dries quickly, it leaves the dead remains of whatever bacteria it has killed...that's right...on your scalp. Soooo, it's more convenient. It definitely gets the hair clean. But if you are meticulous (see: anal) like me, you are probably going to want to rinse and possibly even retwist. If not, you're still good to go. That's it for today.

I'll post up pictures of my frizzy, yet newly retwisted locs when I get a chance.

A Girl Can Dream, Right?!

So I did a photo shoot for a friend. Yes, me. He says that I have the perfect look for what he was going for (And let me tell you, that compliment did wonders for a sistah's ego :-)

For the photo shoot...my sister added some extensions to my hair. She was not able to touch it up on the day of the photo shoot, but I tucked that bad boy into a bun and we did the model thing in the streets of Philadelphia wherever the photographer felt motivated to snap a picture. It was oh so natural! And the pictures turned out pretty great, I must say...

I'm quite proud of myself actually. The problem was taking that crap out of my hair. Actually, the crap is still in my hair. I kind of like it. And I wish my hair would grow already so that I can put it into a cute bun like the picture. Or so that I can wear it down.

So I've been walking around, perpitrating with a big-A bun on my head telling the people at church, "Yes! It's all mine." (Cause you know Black women will ask you in a heartbeat). I guess I forgot how childish and impatient I can be. But when it came time to take my hair down, I was immediately reminded.

I will take it out soon and come clean, I promise.

Daydreaming

But that will be me one day!

Latch hooking, beeswax and a little profanity

Yeah, so I tried latch hooking.

First of all, let me explain and describe what a latch hook is in the first place. A latch hook is a hand-held tool consisting of a thin shaft with a hook on one end and a pivoting latch, used for drawing loops of yarn through canvas or similar material to make rugs and the like.
What makes this device perfect for tightening locks, is the pivoting latch. You put the hook through your twist or braid lock at the root. Next, you hook the end of your twist (or wrap it around...whatever, as long as it catches). Pull it back through the twist. If you continue this...it tightens eventually. I guess it just depends on how loose your twist was in the first place. It sounds complicated, but I looked at the process once on youtube and two months later, picked up a latch hook and did it. Considering that my memory is like an etch-a-sketch...I would not have remembered and been able to execute this procedure 2 months later -mind you- if it was difficult.

My opinion on latch hooking. Great process, great way to tighten your locks for an extended period of time. Great! Great! Great! Will I use this method? No. Why not? It works too well. Such a permanent method wouldn't allow me the option of "taking down" my locs in the future if I decided that I wanted to take that course of action. I'd have to shave my head. Now I know that most people get locs with the intention of never taking them out but I try not to do anything that I can't undo. And to me, shaving my head should be an option, not a requirement (unless I have some kind of horrible disease or an outbreak of lice or something.)



Here's a picture of the latch hooked locs.
Granted, I did pull them up, they are still pretty tight on their own. I took this picture about 3 weeks after latch hooking some of my locs. The fact that you still see my scalp goes to show you that they have some serious staying power.

Now the issue of beeswax. I'll get straight to the point, I've been tempted to use the stuff. I know, I know...I shouldn't. It builds up, it's heavy, it leaves residue...but darnit! I'm getting desperate. Gel is fine, but once...just ONCE, I'd like to know what it feels like to redo my twists and have them actually look fresh the next day. Sigh! Call me crazy, but can I see my scalp every once in a while?! Huh? Pretty please?! @!$#%*? (She takes a deep breath and looks off into the sky wistfully).

Okay, I'm done.

What's new?

Hey everybody! I know it's been a while, but I have been busy with some things. For example...

I just finished reading this ...

Hair Story, a book by Ayana Bird and Lori Tharps. You should read it too! This is a book about Black people and their hair. From our beginnings in Africa (as far as hair maintenance rituals) to the hair cair industry today.

Anywho...I have been twisting and washing, retwisting and washing some more.

<------Trying to do a model pose...lol.

These are pictures of me on several occasions of doing my new favorite thing to do (NOT!) retwisting my hmmm...locks(?) I guess they are still twists. They are in between so I guess I will call them tweenies :-).

This is my "You show is ugly" Color Purple picture

Okay, enough foolishness...I have officially found my new favorite way to condition my hair before washing. It's a mixture of two different homemade conditioners that I found on Motowngirl.com. Here's what I do...

I mix 1/3 cup honey, 3 tablespoons olive oil, four drops of rosemary oil, and two eggs. Mix the ingredients and pour all over my head. Next I cover my head with a plastic bag covered by a warm towel and blow dry or don't blow dry (doesn't matter, as long as it's sitting there seeping into your scalp and pouring down the back of your neck, yuck!). After about twenty minutes, I wash the concoction out of my hair and I shampoo. Sometimes, after shampooing, I'll use a clarifying rinse like apple cider vinegar and water.

This is my favorite conditioner because it leaves my hair feeling really soft and moisturized. Also, the ingredients blend well and stimulate the scalp...it's just all around nice. Warning: make sure to check through your hair a little, sometimes you may have to pick a piece of egg yolk out here and there. But it's worth it, trust me.

You know what? I really want to try the warm water, honey, lemon clarifying rinse but I'm skerred that I will just end up pouring sticky honey water into my hair. Does that sound crazy? (Don't answer that).

So that's been it, thus far. I don't see any changes in length, but everybody else says they do. And that's all that matters, right? (Don't answer that). I can fit my hair into a ponytail now. But I've never been into the teeny weeny pony tail, so I just sweep it up like this...

I think the braids in the back are cute and in a way, I get to showcase all of the hard work I put into retwisting my hair every week/week and a half.

So that's what's new. Oh, oh, oh...wait! I forgot to mention that I experimented with latch hooking. I will write about that tomorrow. I am actually thinking about trying some wax too. Don't know yet. I will write about that later too.

Until then...here's some randomness...

My dog just graduated from puppy school.

Hanging in there

Hello all! I know I haven't posted in a while...I've been caught up in some mess. "But I'm heah"

Anywho...I must admit to you, I have not been keeping up with my lil' regimens like I should. Thank God for my homemade satin pillow, though. 'Cause due to my schedule lately, a sistah's been hitting the sheets without a head wrap. I created a little oil spray for myself in order to moisturize my hair in the mornings. It's a mixture of jojoba oil and olive oil with water. Have I used it? Sometimes. It's hard to evenly distribute it throughout my hair, though, because the 8 oz. bottle I use is more like a squirt bottle than a spray bottle.

Yeah, yeah, I know...excuses are the tools of the incompetent.

My hair has been kind of dry lately, so yesterday, on a whim I poured some castor oil into the palm of my hands and ran it through my hair (which is something I generally do with olive oil, but I wasn't really paying attention.) It was thicker than I expected and I had to dilute it with some water, which I quickly splashed through my little twists. After this, I sprayed my homemade cleansing concoction through my hair and voila! My hair was the happiest person in the world. (And yes, my hair is a person, because she has her own personality). I let my newly springy, moisturized twists air dry and carried on with my day. Today, my hair is so soft and fragrant. I woke up this morning and it had practically styled itself. Good stuff!

This coming week, I plan on washing my hair. I would say on average, I've been washing it once a week, if that. Maybe more like once every week and a half. I always do the deep conditioning before or after the wash. The twists still unravel big time when I step under the shower (which is unimaginably annoying) but I grit my teeth and grab my locking gel. It's a price I'll pay for this journey.

Random Observation
A couple weeks ago at work, I asked a coworker how many locks he had. Of course he had no clue, so I got to work counting them for him. 106. Now I already knew that I had 140. After going on a website that said every lock should be thicker than a pencil, I felt kind of bad. But that's the thing about the internet, kids. You have to remember not to believe everything you hear. About a hundred pictures later (while looking on a bulletin entitled, "what's your loc count?"on nappturality.com) I saw that there were women with lock counts of 120, 160 and sometimes even 200. Actually, most of the women had higher lock counts than me. After that, I got back to my senses and remembered all of the work I've put in thus far to even consider throwing it all away because of something silly.

So there it is folks! I'll post up some pictures after I retwist my newly washed hair.

Peace unto you all! :-)